**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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