Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
