i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize