I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
