Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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