He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
