we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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