please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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