somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
