Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize