wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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