dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
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i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would fuck him just for his dog
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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