Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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