Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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