i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
