dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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