I heard we made out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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