I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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