You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sober January is a disaster.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
