A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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