hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
