You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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