There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
