dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
