What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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