I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
