i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
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That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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