Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
