I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
