Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this will be a night to untag.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
