i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
