I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
