did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
