Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
