'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize