How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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