he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
