We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
