Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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