i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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