too bad you live with your parents still
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
