wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize