i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
