at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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