Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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