I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
