My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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