Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
