she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
