SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize