i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
