i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize