My room smells like vodka and shame
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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