Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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