So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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